On the Internet the Mutineer sounded promising,
with cheap oysters, supposedly good burgers,
something for everyone, and it didn't close until
late. So we went there and discovered that it
had nothing for anyone and was very late, as in
paws up, with the previous day's newspapers
sitting there at the front stoop. We grumbled a
little and proposed to drown our sorrows with a
bottle of wine; luckily Checkers Discount Liquors
was just down the road, and it had decent wines
at competitive prices. I got a bottle of Clancy's.

On the way back, Lilli spotted a KFC and had a
sudden craving for a chicken breast, a singular
perversion in many ways, so she pulled up to the
drive-through and ordered that. Feeling a little
guilty I guess, she wanted to get me something,
too, so I suggested she get me a thigh. Okay,
that'll be $10 even, the kid said, please pull
up to the next window. What came: two meals.
Insult to injury - my thigh meal came as a second
breast. On the side, mashed and gravy, biscuit
with honey, and a chocolate chip cookie. We
went to our suite so-called (there's a flimsy
pullout curtain between the bed and the sofabed)
and eagerly opened our boxes; at least she was
eager - I was put off a bit by lack of hunger,
disappointment at not having found any oysters,
and the smell of old grease.

The best thing we got was the terrible brown
gravy, the margarine-soaked mash next - at least
there was some flavor, not exactly pleasant, but
flavor. Everything else was unacceptable, salty,
greasy, flabby, tasteless.

The cookie was death unwarmed, but a 15-second
tour in the nuker yielded a nice tender texture
and a brown sugar aroma. Unfortunately the
chips tasted pretty artificial.

The biscuit was pure salt, though not bad for
that, but its honey, labeled "honey sauce,"
suffice it to say that honey is the fourth
ingredient after HFCS, corn syrup, and sugar.

The chicken, oh, the chicken. Letting go of
the fact that my thigh and leg meal (which
is what we were charged for) came as a breast
meal, the chicken was tender but tasteless,
but its breading had a texture that was almost
as wet as the mashed potatoes and was about
10 times as salty. No discernible chicken skin,
what there may have been was melted into the
breading perhaps weeks or months ago.

Lilli, who has a delicate digestion, spent a
good long time on the can after this abominable
dinner. Clancy wasn't much help, a bit of a
surprise.
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